I was reminded these last few days of how much God loves me. And how much I love Him too. Though I may not be as fervent as I was when I was in my JC/uni days, going to church and cell group etc, I realise that sometimes it's not so much of the quantity of time spent with God but how much you love Him and know that He is with you always.

  I have been wanting to thank God for the opportunity to come to Japan. To me, this is a dream come true and it must be part of His plan for me, or else this door would be shut. In fact, it was so incredible how things fell in place during the time when I was applying for the Programme that I actually knew in my heart that God was in control. For example, I was selected to go for an interview and it was on a school day. Interestingly,  that particular week was one whichI had no lessons except for GP lecture which was at 12noon I think. My interview was around 10.15am and I still remember the date 7th Feburary. So if I had lessons, it would be difficult to take leave and go for it.  I have to thank God too for Pauline, cos she was understanding and allowed me to take a few hours off to go for it. 

  Also, I'm thankful that I found favour with the interviewers. There were so many people on that list to be interviewed and many were much younger than me, fresh-faced and enthusiatic about life (okay, not that I'm a dead fish, but I'm definitely not youngish!). I remember telling Pauline that I don't think I stood a chance because my first question was directed at the fact that I teach GP and whether I am able to teach elementary and junior high school kids. It also indirectly hinted that I was over-qualified to go on the JET Programme.  

  But I remember that day was cross- country  and some of us went to Adam Road Hawker Centre to get lunch before going for our duties. As Jan was parking, I remember seeing a van that had the words 'JET' painted on it. Somehow that comforted me a bit  because i felt that God was somehow speaking to me and telling me that He is in control. So after that, even as I received the notification that I was selected, things went rather smoothly. I remember also thanking God that Bro Paul didn't react that violently to my notification of resignation. Of course he was upset but that meeting with him actually ended on a positive note. So there were indeed many things to give thanks for. :)

  So even as I am in Japan, I know that God is with me. And frankly, that is my source of comfort and strength. That God knows I try my best every lesson even though sometimes the darn kids don't respond; that He loves and comforts me when I feel alone; that He knows me well and shows me how to deal with my emotions when I feel vulnearable and weak and that He shows me how I can be strong for others, even as He is strong for me.  

  I told Shuai Ge JTE the other day that if I were to die now, I would be contented. I'm not being morbid here ...  everyone has to die some day and it's just a matter of when the Lord calls you home.  When I was younger, I used to joke with my church mates about what kind of home we want to have in heaven.  Since then there were periods of dark moments in my life when I wondered if I still had a heavenly home.  But each time, God has assured me that yup, it's not gone, still standing there. Haha! Anyway, when I was listening to some Christian music today, this was my heartfelt prayer to Him. It's an old song done by Darlene Zscheh from Hillsongs ...

Lord, I Give You My Heart

This is my desire, to honour You
Lord with all my heart I worship You
All I have within me
I give You praise
All that I adore is in You

Chorus:
Lord I give You my heart
I give You my soul
I live for You alone
Every breath that I take
Every moment I'm awake
Lord have Your way in me

So thank you God and I love You. :)